


Leaving and Letting Go

by chocolatekettle



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, oh Jack, post-Meridian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-14
Updated: 2011-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-24 14:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/264801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatekettle/pseuds/chocolatekettle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack accepts Daniel's choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving and Letting Go

After Daniel turns into a floaty light octopus, ascends, doesn't die but _leaves_ , there is a long, arduous debriefing. Many questions are asked, some of them more than once, and Jack is aware that his answers are inadequate but all he has is what Daniel told him and even he thinks he sounds a little crazy. He leaves the briefing room tired, disoriented and oddly numb, and is halfway to Daniel's office before he remembers that there is no Daniel there to explain and argue and ignore Jack in favour of a crumbling alien inscription. He stops dead, says a quiet, heartfelt "fuck", and goes home instead, to sit on the roof wondering where in the vast expanse of stars and blackness Daniel is, and why no one else answered when Jacob asked.

 

**

 

The next day, Jack stalks the corridors of the SGC, growling in response to questions and sympathy, at innocent passers-by and, once, at a particularly smug elevator door. The general is polite but firm when he points out that SG-1 have been given 72 hours leave and suggests that it might be best if Jack were to actually leave. Jack argues that Carter and Teal'c are still on base and Hammond says, reasonably enough, "Yes, Colonel, but neither Major Carter nor Teal'c are actively terrorising half the base personnel. Go home, Jack. I can make it an order." Jack goes home and wonders some more, this time with added beer.

 

**

 

The hangover he wakes up with does not improve his mood; meeting Jonas Quinn in the elevator on base pushes him from tightly controlled frustration right back into murderous rage. But the idiot scientists that caused this mess are already dead and Jack is fairly sure that killing the only friendly Kelownan would be considered petty and unnecessary, and the general tends to frown upon that kind of thing. He heads up to the gym instead.

 

The airmen in the training session he crashes are young, fit and too new to the SGC to recognise Jack's foul mood and run for cover. He's taking on the fourth when Lou Ferretti appears beside him, grabs his arm and twists him into a wall. Even tired and hungover, Jack has been wiping the floor with the recruits, but Lou is good enough to hold him for as long as it takes to say, very quietly, "Beating on these kids won't change anything, Jack. Get it together."

 

Ferretti waits until he feels Jack relax against his hold, then steps back and says, loudly and cheerily this time, "That's it for today, kids. If you're very good the colonel and I might give you a proper demonstration tomorrow."

 

Jack stays leaning against the wall until the last airman leaves the room. "What's the damage?"

 

"The last one is headed to the infirmary with a broken nose, probably sprained wrist. The other two got bruised egos and a whole new respect for their elders. Sorry to spoil your fun, but I figured Fraiser might be annoyed if I let you accidentally kill someone. As it is, there's probably some malicious needle wielding in your near future."

 

Jack winces. There's an edge in the joke, a warning. He doesn't remember breaking anyone's nose. "Thanks, Lou."

 

"Yeah, well. Better get goin' before the doc comes looking for you."

 

**

 

"With whom are you angry, O'Neill? The Kelownan scientists for disregarding Daniel Jackson's warning or with Daniel Jackson himself?"

 

Jack turns too fast and nearly falls into a candle. "Teal'c! Don't do that to me, buddy. I thought you were kel-no-reeming."

 

Teal'c raises an eyebrow at him and repeats, "With whom are you angry?"

 

"Why would I be angry at Daniel? He didn't do anything wrong." Teal'c is silent; this is the headtilt of infinite patience and the lifted eyebrow of tolerant disbelief. Jack rolls his eyes and gives in. "C'mon, Teal'c, aren't you just a little bit angry at him? First he gets himself irradiated and then he doesn't want help! He just floats off into the great blue yonder and leaves the rest of us to....and leaves! And, ok, I understand that he had no choice but to disarm that bomb, and I'm grateful he didn't let us all be blown to hell, really I am, but dammit, Teal'c, Jacob could have fixed him!"

 

Teal'c is compassionate and gentle and horribly matter-of-fact when he says, "I do not believe that is so, O'Neill. Selmac stated that he could not guarantee a return to full health. Neither do I believe that Daniel Jackson would have wished to continue as less than what he once was. From what you have told us, it seems he may have found a way to be more. While I deeply regret his loss to us, I see no reason for anger."

 

Jack, desolate, rebellious, thinks _he could never be more_ , but what was left of his anger is gone now, defeated by logic and truth. Grief is harder to bear, but easier to hide. He pushes it away, puts on his colonel face and carries on.


End file.
